I tend to mother
people. I know this about myself, and I’m
not going to apologize for it. This isn’t
a habit I developed when I became a mom - I’ve been this way for as long as I
can remember. In the spirit of
consistency, here are the motherisms I’m most likely to pass on to my children,
or anyone else who might be within hearing distance of my nagging nurturing.
Choose citrus that feels
heavy for its size. It will be fresher
and juicier than the lightweight pieces.
Always drive as if
everyone else on the road is an imbecile, drunk, and/or texting.
Red lipstick is a
commitment. Don’t wear it unless you
mean it.
Be nice to almost
everyone, but don’t waste your time on those that don’t deserve your kindness.
Embrace who you are,
what you think and feel. Don’t let
anyone belittle you for being yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you who to
be, not even the internet.
Let joy in. It’s everywhere, but you have to meet it half
way, at the very least.
Don’t drag your
feet. Literally or figuratively.
Show up on time, dressed
appropriately, ready to participate and contribute.
Tip at least 20%.
Question authority. But do your research.
Treat your parents the
way you’d like your kids to treat you.
And treat your kids the way you wish you had been treated when you were
a kid.
Listen.
Speak up – don’t mumble.
Be confident.
Take care of your health.
No one is going to do it for you.
Clean your windshield.
If you see someone who
needs help, help. Hold a door, carry a
package, let someone go ahead of you. Small
kindnesses reverberate and inspire.
Accept responsibility. When you screw up, own it, learn from it, and
move on. Apologize if your screw-up effected
anyone else.
It’s good to have some
stamps – you know, the snail mail kind. Even
if you think you’ll never use the post office’s services again.
Have some small talk
topics in your pocket – Where did you grow up? Do you have any siblings? What
TV show are you loving right now?
Clean up after yourself.
Whenever possible, take
the stairs.
Even if cooking is not
your thing, you should know how to make scrambled eggs, pasta, grilled cheese
or whatever suits your taste. You ought
to be able feed yourself a warm, nutritious, low-cost meal.
Clean your phone. Trust me, it’s filthy.
Accept people as they
are. You have no idea what’s led up to this moment for another human
being. Or what that person might be
feeling, thinking, or experiencing.
Be grateful. Yes, absolutely, there are things in your
life and in the world that suck right now.
There are also things that definitely do not. Just because it isn’t the
third Thursday in November doesn’t mean you can’t give thanks. Stop what you’re doing right now and think of
three things in your life that are good.
Tomorrow, start your day that way.
Never stop learning. Someone mentioned this to me this morning,
and I was both embarrassed that I hadn’t thought of it, and grateful for the
reminder. The old cliché that you learn
something new every day is only true if you’re open to it. And if you are, you can probably even learn
more than one thing every day.
Live within your means. Before
you buy something major on credit, do the math and figure out just how much
that new TV will cost when you’re finished paying the interest on it.
Read the fine print. If
you don’t, it’s your own danged fault.
Have fun. While putting
the fine art of being an adult into practice, it’s important to remember the
wonder and joy of childhood.
Finally, I’ll leave you
with one last piece of advice: listen to
your mother. Seriously, she has your
best interest at heart.
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