Skip to main content

The complexity of communication

com·mu·ni·ca·tion (kəˌmyo͞onəˈkāSH(ə)n/)
noun - the imparting or exchanging of information or news

Sounds simple, right?  And at its heart, sure, the concept of communication is simple.  You let me know something, I respond, repeat as necessary, and the expected result is that an idea has been shared to the satisfaction of both parties.

But we’ve all had a misunderstanding or even an argument that illustrates darned well the complexity of communication.  Ever struggled to figure out why a fussy baby is crying? While you read this, do you know which words I’m emphasizing, if I’m trying to be funny, what I might be exaggerating, or when I’m completely sincere?   

The words we say are just a small part of what we communicate.  Intent, mannerisms, and personal experience all influence purpose and perception.  We can communicate without saying a word (let me add that I am mightily jealous of anyone who can raise one eyebrow at a time - I’ve tried, I’ve practiced, but the tiny progress I’ve made leaves me looking like a lunatic, which is hardly ever the message I like to convey).  Body language can reinforce a message, contradict it, or even speak for itself, but in any event, it’s a powerful component of communication. 

Let’s get back to that fussy baby.  The diaper has been changed, the bottle given, the temperature checked, and still the baby cries.  Information has been imparted, and even received, but can’t be interpreted.  It’s a frustrating, challenging obstacle, but like so many challenges, it can be overcome with practice, experience, and patience.

Communication is by no means limited to humans.  My dog will growl when he’s cranky, when he’s playful, and when he wants a cheeseburger (of course, he always wants a cheeseburger, he’s a dog – but his brain is tiny and cheeseburgers can’t always get mindshare).  And those are just his growls.  He also has several different barks (ok, fine, yaps - he’s a small dog), snorts and grunts, that all have their own meaning.  My cat has an entire vocabulary of meows that can mean anything from “feed me,” to “pay attention to me,” to “the dog is mean.”  Yes, my cat is a tattletale, but to be fair, the dog is mean.  Wild animals send messages too, to warn off predators, to find a mate, to assert dominance, even to convey contentment and triumph. 

How we listen also has a significant impact on the success of communication. Hearing is easy, but paying attention is a different story.  Stop being so distracted, put your phone down and give your attention where it belongs.  Participate in the process. 


So when you have something to say, or when someone is trying to let you know something, remember that while communication is actually quite complex, there’s a great deal you can do to ease the way.  Make an effort to hear and be heard as clearly as possible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can I Quote You?

I find people to be remarkably clever, and I’m often struck by their wit, wisdom, and ability to inspire.  But as much as I’m determined to commit their sagacity to memory, there’s just too much bouncing around up there for me to keep it all straight.  I’ll read or hear something that strikes me as profound and memorable, but if I don’t write it down, the best I can do is think, “There was this thing, that someone said one time, that seemed relevant, or important, or valuable.  I sure do wish I could remember what it was.”  So I started a list.  Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite things that other people have said: “All you need is love.  But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”  Charles Schulz “Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.”  George Washington “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I bet I’d be darling at it.”  Dorothy Parker “When you reach the end of your rope...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Navigate A Casual Dress Code

In my first office job, women were required to wear skirts or dresses, preferably with high heels.  No pants allowed, hosiery mandatory, flats frowned upon.  Yes, I wore oversized blazers that had shoulder pads augmented by shoulder pads, with shiny blouses and long skirts. On my break, I switched my tasteful pumps for Reebok high tops for a quick power walk.  I will also confess, just between friends, to a big floppy bow tying back my poufy hair.  See that outfit on the left?  I had one almost exactly like it.  Many years later (and I think you can do the math based on the outfit), I sit at my desk in jeans, a t-shirt, a sweater and boots.  My feet don’t hurt, there are no pantyhose to run (back in those days, I always kept an extra pair in my desk for emergencies), and I don’t have dry cleaning bills to worry about.  I think I look OK.  Although I am dressed casually, my outfit is color-coordinated and (I hope) stylish.  And, ac...
Post a Comment
Read more