For years, I
thought I would lose it on this day.
That I would crawl under a rock, curl up in a ball, and sob pathetically
while contemplating my imminent mortality and current irrelevance.
It’s an
option. But I chose a different one.
Today I turn
50, and I’ve spent the last year thinking about how I can be a better person, what
it would take to achieve those goals, and working hard to get there.
One year
after I made that decision, I am so proud of myself and can honestly say I’m a
happier person than I was a year ago.
I joined a
gym, got strong (relatively), changed my diet, and lost weight. I visited my family
on the other side of the country (an expensive trip that I didn’t think I could
afford). I found a new job that is rewarding, challenging, makes me feel like I
make a valuable contribution, and gives me back an important piece of my life
that I haven’t had in a long time. Most importantly,
I opened myself up to new experiences. I
stopped telling myself I couldn’t and started believing that I could. Obstacles became challenges.
It wasn’t
all rainbows and puppies, of course, but when things went south, I didn’t dwell
or wallow. Instead, I put my fists on my
hips Wonder-Woman-style and chanted “I am a badass. I am a badass. I am a badass.” That mantra goes a long way toward making
problems seem surmountable.
This year’s
goals? Only two (so far): 1) go zip-lining; and 2) do a pull up.
So instead
of spending my day teary-eyed and lamenting how much of life has passed me by,
I’m going to focus on how lucky I am, contemplate what I’ve accomplished, and
get excited about the year to come. My kids
are amazing, my marriage is happy, I love my job, I’ve come a long way, baby.
All in all, life is good and I had a fabulous year – time to celebrate!
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