The Power of Feedback

If you have a Fitbit, you understand the power of feedback.  I’ve never tried any other fitness watch, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I am addicted to my Fitbit and the feedback it gives me.  It’s the rush of the little rocket ship that launches when I hit my step goal, the steps-per-hour rainbow I build when I hit my hourly goal, the exercise pentagon I piece together if I’m sufficiently active five days a week.  It doesn’t matter if I already know, intellectually, that I’ve put in the effort, I crave the tiny electronic pat on the back.  Or buzz on the wrist, if you will.

Positive or negative, I’m a big fan of feedback.  When I cook for you, I want to know what you think.  Did it need more salt?  Was it overdone?  Could it use a dash of vinegar?  Was it the best thing you ever tasted and you want more?

Is this new blouse a bad color on me?  Do I have something in my teeth?  Is my mascara running down my face?  Please, I really want to know!

At work, keep me in the loop.  Was that presentation what you were hoping it would be?  Did that spreadsheet give you the data you needed?  Am I delivering to your expectations?  Where am I falling short and what’s working?

I’m a strong believer in the value of positive reinforcement, but there’s always room for improvement, and we can’t improve if we don’t know what we’re doing wrong.  It’s not about criticism, it’s about opportunity, coaching, learning and improving.  But you have to want to improve.

That reminds me of an old joke: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.  For feedback to work, you have to be like the light bulb.   If you’re working under the assumption that you’re doing everything right, critical feedback is going to surprise you and be wasted on you.  Or maybe you just don’t care, in which case you definitely aren’t going to appreciate this kind of information.  But if you're genuinely willing to change, and you’re given specific feedback with actionable advice, you’re on the right track.

There’s a scientific explanation for why we prefer praise to criticism.  Positive feedback causes our brain to release oxytocin, which relaxes us and encourages trust and generosity, collaboration and cooperation.  Conversely, criticism triggers a release of cortisol, affectionately referred to as the stress hormone.  Cortisol makes us less resilient and more sensitive, shutting down our logical thought processes.  Its effects also last longer than oxytocin, meaning the glow of praise fades more quickly than the blow of criticism, which is why we dwell on the negative and discredit the positive.

I once had a manager tell me I was the worst admin she ever had (feel free to pause a moment here to process your shock).  I felt ambushed and devastated.  I put my heart into that job, working long hours and genuinely caring about the success of the company while feeling like I was making a valuable contribution to it.  When I later mulled (okay, obsessed) over what she said to me, I came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t true.  I met her previous admin and wasn’t impressed.  I spent a lot of time fixing work that admin had botched, and I was hearing from other co-workers that I was doing a better job, was more reliable and more competent than that my predecessor.  While ultimately I’ll never know my manager’s motivation for what she said to me, I eventually realized that her criticism didn’t matter for two reasons: 1. it wasn’t valid; and 2. it wasn’t constructive.  If she had a genuine problem with my work, it was her responsibility to tell me where I was failing and what changes she wanted to see.  The writing was on the wall, though.  Clearly, we weren’t going to work well together and I put in for a transfer to another department (where, I feel compelled to say, I excelled).  And regardless of what she said to me, I am, to this day, proud of my performance while I worked for her.

The moral of that story is, for feedback to be meaningful, it has to come from a trustworthy, credible source, and it has to include actionable advice.  My Fitbit tells me to get off my rear end and move.  I can do that.  It encourages me to eat right and get enough sleep and exercise. Check.  The critical feedback is gentle while the positive feedback is enthusiastic, just the way effective feedback ought to be.  I feel inspired to improve without feeling too bad about any setbacks.

If you’ve hit a plateau, whether it be professionally, physically, intellectually, or emotionally, seek out objective input.  Find a mentor, an expert, or just a friend you can trust to be honest.  Listen carefully, adjust accordingly, then go forth and knock ‘em dead.